a rose is still a rose

i'm a loner i know this. i've been a loner since i was a young girl. and relized that no one could be trusted. plus i just don't fit in anywhere.

i'm not black, i stopped getting perms, doesn't make me feel any blacker, but i like the curls so i keep it. i'm not gay, in my old youth group no one wanted to be friends with the bi-sexual, so the few of us stuck together only held together by that fact. i'm not a gamer, i play video and computer games but its not my whole life. i not smart, i know things but i'm no A student, i'll never go to smart kid camp.

I don't know i think i do better by my self. i get more work done, i know that my ideas are always the best. and then someone comes along and tries to help and its like nothing i've done is right.

I thought that i wanted friends, that maybe thats what i'm missing in my life. so i tried to make friends. i have people that know my name and i know theirs .but i never close with any of them.

Toby is the only person who i feel like i could be around forever. and sometimes i try to push him away to. i dont know whats with me.

sorry i'm just having a down day.